4 Ways Music Improves Our Lives

I’ve been performing since I was 3. All I knew was I loved music, and I loved dressing up, singing, and dancing for friends and family (on my fireplace mantle), and bossed friends around who weren’t “doing it right’ - aka not singing in time or in tune.

I went on to play many instruments and finally landed on singing which I loved. What followed was a professional career with some amazing experiences like a presidential inauguration at the Kennedy Center, musicals, and more. Singing was all I wanted to do. I loved who I was, and how I felt when I was doing it, and couldn't fathom doing anything else.

But with horrible mental health, zero confidence, and a minor vocal injury, I quit in my mid 20s. Even after some success, I didn’t believe I could do it, and I protected myself OUT of pursuing it, by abusing my body into being incapable of it. Devastated, and desperate, I built a long leadership career in tech, and intentionally left music behind. 

I didn’t talk about music or my background. In fact, I was embarrassed by it. I avoided music, and creatives. I stopped singing, stopped enjoying and participating in it, and I hated on others doing it. I was determined to reinvent myself, and not out of inspiration…but out of fear and self-loathing. I was convinced the way to do it was to pretend it never happened, never do it again - and to double down on business, on tech, and just make a lot of money.

Frankly, when I was singing 30+ hours a week years ago, I had no idea why it made me feel so good when I was doing it. Neuroscience has come a long way, and what I now know after years of therapy, coaching, and education, is how vital music was to not just my mental, emotional, and physical health, but everyone’s!

Eventually, I completely broke down with burnout, panic attacks, and chronic health issues (stomach, hair loss, etc). When I started incorporating music back into my life, my life got less stressful, and got better! There were more opportunities, I was happier, and I was healthier.

Here’s how to consciously incorporate music into your life, to avoid the stress of rock bottoms:

Listen to grieve, process, or “get over” something

Whether we’re struggling to find the words to express how we’re feeling, want to process the end of a relationship, or move on from a fight or lay-off, listening to music will help. As a parent, and as a coach, what I’ve learned is there is a time and place to manage my feelings and issues, and it’s not with a 6 and 8-year-old. My kids were with me all weekend, so I compartmentalize my feelings to be a good parent. This morning after I dropped them off, all the pent-up emotions poured out in the car on the way back from school drop-off. I had been holding sadness, pain, and disappointment. While it wasn’t the plan, I listened to Thousand Miles by Miley Cyrus & Brandi Carlisle, and as I was driving, it just all came out, and I was flooded with tears. I let it happen as it has a thousand times (particularly over the past few years when I was dealing with a lot of trauma). Listening with intention helps us understand what we are feeling, helps us move through the feelings, validates the feelings, and provides a huge release if we let the emotions wash over us, vs. suppressing them. 

Dance or sing to relax & reduce anxiety

I started taking indoor cycling classes 18 years ago in NYC, until eventually, I got the confidence to get certified and audition to teach, which was all after I rehabbed my voice and started singing again which helped me develop more confidence, and better mental/physical health. Eventually, I moved to CA, and started teaching at CycleBar which was a dream, because it incorporated all my favorite things. Even during my most stressful times (cue COVID, divorce, near death, etc.) I was still filled with joy every time I taught. Using my voice, playlisting the music I was passionate about, and sweating; moving to choreography was amazing. First, it gets you out of your head, and into the moment in your body! Singing, and dancing also naturally moves you out of your body’s stress response cycle; from fight or flight, into safe, relaxation mode. They increase dopamine, which is mood boosting. You can do these during/after a stressful event, but doing them consistently increases your stress capacity, and keeps you steady.

Connect & deepen relationships of all kinds

Music is a love language! Music tells us so much about people. I often joke that if anyone wants to get to know me, or know how I’m feeling… all they have to do is look at my Spotify playlists. It’s how we become better leaders, how we build self-awareness, develop empathy, and deepen our connections with people. All of these lead to more happiness, and less day-to-day stress. When we focus on connecting with music, we’re getting to understand ourselves and others much more intimately. Mood is contagious (it’s called neural synchrony), so go see a musical performance with people you care about, and sing along, or go solo, look around, and take in the people around you. Have a moment of awe (also scientifically linked to happiness). Ask someone what their favorite songs are, and why, or build a shared playlist of songs featuring certain emotions, or your story/experiences together, and talk about them! All of these will move you closer to others, and to a happier, more present, and more rich life.

Level up performance, productivity, & achievement

If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. Music activates nearly all of our brain’s regions and networks (especially playing an instrument) - so in addition to music improving our well-being, and happiness (as if that wasn’t enough), it boosts learning, and cognitive function (thinking clearly, and performing everyday activities), and for some, it deepens focus. It also improves memory, improves planning, and leads to creative and divergent problem-solving. So whether you’re bored at work, stuck on an issue, like a challenge, or just want to level up your ability to live, work, and make decisions more effectively, choosing to incorporate music is a great choice.

Are you ready to confidently navigate through stress and crisis? Click the link below to set up your free discovery call to learn how I can help!