How to Know When it’s Time to Leave

A couple of weeks ago I left my home at CycleBar; the place I taught indoor cycling for 4 years.  

I’ve been teaching indoor cycling for nearly a decade, and It’s a passion that brings everything I love about this life together in one place. CycleBar was instrumental in my happiness and in my mental health. It was my joy, it had my people, and I grew constantly there while being in service to others through their own struggles which felt incredible. 

It was safe, and stable even in the midst of a several-year period of stress, trauma, and crisis. CycleBar gave me emotional endurance and resilience in my life. It kept me strong, and balanced, even as my personal life and the world fell apart.

So why did I choose to walk away? That’s a long story, and it was a heartbreaking decision. It killed me to do it, but it was absolutely the right decision, and I have no regrets. The process of deciding made me feel empowered, confident, and clear in my decision. It’s opened new opportunities, and once it was made, a huge emotional weight was lifted.

Your environment is a major part of your well-being and happiness. Where we spend our time, and with whom is crucial to our mental health. If you’re really living life, throughout yours you’ll ask yourself where you belong, and whether or not you should stay or leave that relationship, that workplace, or that city in an effort to find greater happiness, growth, and calmness. So if you’re questioning whether to leave, here are a few questions you can ask yourself that will move you closer to a decision:

What’s In My Power To Change?

One way of moving into a decision to stay or go is to evaluate whether or not you’ve done everything in your power within reason to address things, where you are. Be honest about what is within your control. Often, we make assumptions and feel more paralyzed than we are, when rather, we’re paralyzed by our fear of having the hard conversations and making direct asks for what we need. Have you gotten the help and support you need from experts? Have you been accountable, and had the chats and made the requests that could move the needle? Run through your history in said environment. What historically has been the case there, and have you attempted to work on these issues before? Run all these through your decision-making process before jumping ship.

Are You Running Away?

Hard things are well…really hard! When things get challenging, discomfort is very natural, and part of the growth and learning process. Suffering, however, is not. That things will be uncomfortable, is something I learned over time as a young adult, but my tendency used to be to run away from anything that caused anxiety, discomfort, or stress. You can start by identifying what exactly makes this environment difficult, why, AND what your history with doing hard things has been in the past. Are you someone who historically has left to minimize discomfort, or bolted when things get tough? Past experience will give you some data on what’s happening in the present.

Is Staying Aligned w/My Priorities & Values?

Over the years, our life priorities and values shift. Sometimes it’s not what’s different about our environment, it’s what’s different about us that compels us to consider leaving! This has been true too many times in my life to count. What happens when the environment is in direct conflict with our priorities and values, is tension; physical, emotional, and mental. So if you notice yourself feeling tense, resentful, anxious, or off in an environment that used to feel calming, grounding, and happy, that is a great time to run through your current life’s priorities and values and then evaluate to what extent ‘you’ now is aligned with the environment you’re in.

What Are The Costs Of Staying?

What I noticed in myself towards the end of my teaching at CycleBar, was that going to work became a very stressful, and anxious experience for me. My mental health was negatively impacted by going in to teach several days a week. My coaching was not getting the time and energy it deserved, and I was far less patient with my kids when home. All in all, my mental health, and my long-term business plans were all taking a hit if I stayed where I was, as things were. Ask yourself what staying costs you now, and in the future. Asking yourself if you’re learning and growing, and how your mental health, finances, and relationships are affected by said environment, will help you evaluate whether or not to leave.

Can I Return?

One of the most important questions to ask is whether or not you can return if you change your mind. When we’re stressed about the decision to leave, we often get stuck in the notion that there’s never any going back, and that this decision may be the wrong one - which then just adds to indecision,  more suffering, and an endless cycle of worrying and more indecision. Not everything is set in stone. It’s worthwhile to consider if returning is a  possibility. Knowledge is power, so if there’s a low likelihood you can return, play that scenario out, and also remember that not returning to the old, means more opportunities for the new in your life!

Are you ready to evaluate your environment? Click the link below to setup your free discovery call to learn how I can help!